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15 Candies They Should Stop Producing...

Peeps

Oh great. Talk about a delicious little treat these are. Nothing better than waking up on a warm, spring morning only to be greeted by these little yellow fellows, staring at you with their dead, listless eyes. Their insides, a marshy, unnatural blend of corn syrups and sugars. Biting in to one, the sensation of beach sand crunches between your teeth. What a fucking delight.

StarBurst

Mmm.. Starburst. Nothing better than throwing one of these in to your mouth and feeling that intense burning sensation in the depths of your jaws. That's how you know the animal byproducts are working! Seriously, though, the only thing more pleasant than the delightful flavor is that milky saliva that forms in the back of your throat while you eat these things. A de-light!!!

Jolly Ranchers

Again, a blast of pain to the jaws is accommodated by an intense hatred for everything in the world as this burst of flavor reminds you that, yes, you are alive, and yes, you are surrounded by sadness at all times. Jolly Ranchers have been terrorizing us since 1949, and are now produced in Mexico sweat shops. Enjoy!

Atomic Fire Balls

What is more disgusting than these things? I mean seriously. Not only are they HORRIBLE, but they hurt to eat. What would possibly possess someone to want to put these in to their mouths? I remember being in grade school and watching my friends eat these, horrified. Ah, young masochists, they were. They were all killed shortly thereafter in various pick-up truck stunts.

Whoppers

Whoppers are chocolate coated "milk balls" (mmm.. this ALREADY sounds tasty) produced by the Hershey's company. What I find odd is that they sometimes come in a milk carton-shaped box, which I find ironic, given the ingredients of these things. Now there IS malted milk, but I'm sure it's to be off-set by the hydrogenated palm kernel oil, corn syrup solids, and sorbitan tristearate.

Milk Duds

These chalky and disgusting candies are just that. Duds. What on earth are people thinking when they buy these things? I am convinced that Milk Duds revenue consists entirely on first-time buyers, or people who don't know any better. They've been around since 1928, too. I just don't get it.

Twizzlers

Come on now. These are really gross. They're stringy and slimey and AGAIN with the animal byproducts. As you're chewing on horse hooves ask yourself, "Am I truly enjoying this?" -- Probably not.

Mounds

Mounds. What the fuck were they thinking with these things? "Hey, I know, lets stuff a candy bar with coconut! Everyone loves Coconut. Wrong! The texture is like chewing on a baby's dirty diaper.

Candy Corn

This is probably the most tragic of halloween candies. I am convinved people simply buy these to terrorize children with just how horrible they are... Or they are given out by some probably extremely sweet but out of touch 86 year old lady thinking the kids will "just really love these little things." I can find absolutely no appealing value to these things. If there were a nuclear war and all that was left were Candy Corn, I'd just as soon gnaw off my own arm.

Tootsie Rolls

Mmmmm... Chewy, faux-chocolate bars of shit. Seriously. It's almost an errand to eat these things. Someone came by my desk and handed me one of these earlier today and I'm convinced she's just trying to get rid of them since halloween 9 months ago. Why are they still producing these? Who eats these things? Bleck.

Smarties

Yum. Little chalky tarts. And they come in those delightful little wrappers. And you don't get just one. You get like 14 of them. They're differentiated by color, but all taste the same: like garbage. Thanks but no thanks.

Red-Hots

Again with the candy that is unpleasant to eat. More burning sensation. It almost helps you forget how bad these taste. What is the deal with these things?

Bazooka Joe Gum

If there weren't shitty, unfunny comics on the inside, the Bazooka Joe line of candies would've collapsed decades ago, but for some reason, people are drawn to their almost zen-like, fortune cookie appeal. "What zany situation will Bazooka Joe have gotten himself in to this time? Oh geez."

Pop-Rocks

Oooooooo.... Candy that explodes in your mouth like chewing on fire crackers. Great idea. And people have actually tried to explode their stomachs by mixing mass quantities of diet soda and pop-rocks. Do we hate ourselves this much? Is this what our society has been driven to? Yes.

Top 10 Farts Live on TV

10. Larry King Live


09. Regis and Kelly: Featuring Regis


08. Leslie Nielson on the Morning Show


07. Sheppard Smith lets one go


06. Lady Farts on Live Workout Tape


05. An American Idol loses it.


04. Breakfast TV Host. Mmmm...


03. Local News Anchor -- Pardon ME!


02. Another Lady Newscaster


01. Oh this guy just literally craps his pants.

Firefox v3.0

Everyone be sure to go out and get the latest and greatest version of Firefox today! So far I can say it seems a LOT faster and lighter. Love it!

Get it here.

$543,236,299,998 Spent on Iraq as of 4:22 pm CST Today!

Things you can do with $543,236,299,998.

1. Give every US citizen $1.8 million.


2. Give an iPhone to 2.8 billion people.


3. Buy laptops for 452,696,916 students.


4. 2,263,484,583,300 (2.2 trillion) packets of ramen noodles


5. Buy a $140k home for 3,880,259 homeless families.


6. Pay $500 in rent for an apartment for 1,000,000 homeless persons for 90 years.


7. Feed every person in Africa (922 million people) every day for 1.6 years.


8. Donate $543,236,299,998 to cancer research centers... Or alternative fuel research... Or disease research.


9. Give every single person on the planet (6.6 billion people) $82 each.


10. Pay an average college tuition for 54,323,629 poor students.


11. Go out to the movies 67,904,537,499 times.


12. 181,684,381,270 gallons of ice cream!


13. 67,989,524,405 six-packs of beer.

Maybe we should have less war?

Technology Predictions are Coming True

"GPS will be the next big thing. once GPS integrates with the internet, you will be able to find anyone's latitude and longitude at any time. i imagine a central website that you can sign up on. here, you register your ID number. then, you will become a dot on a map of America. you will be able to zoom in on, say, Charlotte NC. zoom in further and further on the map to see all the dots scattered across the city. click on a dot and it will show you that person's profile. in this world where people seem so anxious to share their lives with the world, what better way to do this than by sharing exactly where you are at any present moment. I can see it now.. Right there on someones webpage..."

That was me 5 years ago. With the emergence of the new iPhone 2.0, its ability for apps extendibility and integrated GPS, a lot of my predictions are starting to come in to fruition. I wonder which of the others will start coming true?

The Webkit Experiment

Introductions:
I've been using PCs since I was 10. Since I've been able, I've been surfing the web with Firefox. I know it inside and out. Every bell and every whistle has been thoroughly exploited by me. I've integrated lots of add-ons in to my daily work-flow and I've just come to love the thing.

I've never used a Mac. Sure, I've gotten online with a Mac while at a friend's house or what-not, but I've never owned one myself. 6 months ago I got a new job and they provided me with a shiny new Macbook Pro. It was scary, but exciting. Perhaps I could finally see now what all of the hype was about. Day after day, for 9, 10 hours a day, I would be on this new device, learning the ins and outs, discovering what sucks and what I like. I have a long list of both, but that's a separate post.

This week in particular I've decided to put Firefox to the side and give "Webkit" a whirl. Webkit is a bare-bones, open source browser. It's tightly integrated in to the Mac OSX, and is (very) light and speedy. I have to admit, Firefox on a Mac leaves a bit to be desired. It gets boggy and even beachballs quite a bit. I thought it would be a fun experiment to step in to the dark side, try Webkit for a week, and report on what I like, what I dislike, and just the experience as a whole.

MONDAY:
Installation, naturally, was a breeze. I gotta give it to OSX for adding/removing programs. Very well done indeed.

Upon loading the browser, I found myself in the application's preferences to tweak its settings to my content. Within a few minutes, I had all of the settings to my liking and was ready to rock. Definitely missing the level of customization I have with Firefox and I really miss some of my keyboard shortcuts, but it is really fast, and that part I like.

Adding RSS feeds was easy enough, but not as easy as it COULD be. For instance, if I want to bookmark the RSS feed at ffffound.com, I go to the website, render the page, click on the blue RSS icon, it loads the page a second time, then I click the "Add Bookmark" link and choose a folder location. Ideally I'd like to click on the blue RSS button and have the option via context menu to add this feed to a bookmark OR view. Adding several (15) RSS feeds was a HUGE pain and took many, many minutes.

OOPS! It's 1:47PM and Webkit just crashed on me. Upon re-open, it did not restore my session. I had to start over. Webkit For the Lose. [UPDATE: Only later did I find out about Webkit's "Reopen All Windows from Last Session" menu option. Woohoo!]

TUESDAY:
I came in to work this morning and instinctively opened Firefox. Oops! Lets not forget the experiment. So I've downloaded the latest nightly build and am back for more.

So it's 8:46am and I'm trying to view the details of a calendar item on my gCal. It tries to render and stops. Crashes. Webkit FTL.

I'm feeling VERY frustrated and limited this morning trying to use Webkit instead of my usual suite of browser apps. It's just SO slimmed down and simplistic. I can see why some people could go for this sort of thing, but my being a power user is really throwing a wrench in to this experiment. I'm fighting the urge to just open Firefox and be done with it. I'm already having to use Firefox for some work things (such as Google Calendar). So far, my thinking is, "Yes, webkit is clean and fast, but limited."

That said, this exercise in simplicity will help me, I HOPE, figure out what is necessary and what is fluff. We'll see how the rest of this long week goes.

WEDNESDAY:
It is a fresh new day. I start up my speedy Webkit and am on my way. I think the speed of start-up is really starting to spoil me. I've tweaked a couple of things within the application (custom CSS, etc -- to block ads. Very nice!) and all of my favorite sites are now running smoothly. It has been a rough transition, but I think things are getting easier. Only time will tell though. We're half way in to this long week.

Wednesday is going well. I'm definitely learning my way around, and I'm starting to feel lighter and lighter as a result of leaving behind the functionality in FF. One thing I'm really missing is the excellent del.icio.us extension that allows me to create bookmark folders that are actually "tags" in del.icio.us. It lets me syndicate my bookmarks in to the browser. I've not done much research in to Webkit/del.icio.us addons yet, so maybe there is a good workaround for this. (UPDATE: Found one here)

THURSDAY:
I'm here and Webkit is running. Day by day, it is getting easier to work in the new browser. The one thing that's really killing me right now is it's very difficult to get to my del.icio.us bookmarks! Arg. I'm going to put a little effort this morning in to solving this dilemma.

The new del.icio.us solution I found is amazing! I would say almost... gulp... FASTER than my setup in Firefox.

FRIDAY:
It's the end of the week. No more speed bumps. I think I've successfully assimilated myself in to Webkit. I don't find myself missing much of what I used in Firefox aside from a couple extensions that made engaging a few web services a lot easier. Firefox -- or more accurately Flock -- has a great method for uploading images directly to Flickr. It also makes it super easy to add blog posts, twitter updates, and the like. All things that can be achieved in Webkit, sure, but it does take a bit longer. I don't find myself minding so much...

CONCLUSIONS:
The experiment is at an end. It was a great experiment. I learned a lot about a different piece of software and OSX in general. By using the native software, I uncovered some nifty buried functionality in the operating system itself and for that I'm very happy. What Webkit lacks in functionality and expandability it makes up for in raw SPEED and ease of use. It's definitely a slimmed down web experience that's not for everyone, but I GET it now, and I find it quite nice.

It's now Wednesday of the following week and I'm STILL using Webkit as my primary browser for both personal use and work. On Windows machines, I think I will always use Firefox, but for now, especially while I'm on a Mac, I think I'll stick with Webkit. I just can't discount how much faster it is. Plus, I find it MUCH easier to access my bookmarks through spotlight.

Things I Like:

• OS Integration: I have to admit, this is nice. Full OSX integration means enjoying all of the little niceties packaged in to OSX. Downloading something in Webkit and doing a one click unpack, attach, and install is really nice.
• Dictionary Highlight: Cmd-Ctrl-D to look up the word I have my cursor over is nice.
• Integrated RSS reader is nice.
• It's definitely fast. Not just rendering things, but start-up time as well.
• Clean interface.
• Cmd-Click -vs- Cmd-shift-click for more control on opening links in tabs.
• Being able to plug in global CSS stylesheets for doing nifty stuff like ad blocking (Thanks Stephen!).
• Textarea resizing is pretty sweet.
• The way the auto-complete behaves in the URL bar.
• I like the way a tab gets a graphic icon (!) notification when there's an alert in that tab.
• Add-on support via SIMBL and InputManagers, but not nearly as extensive as Firefox.

Things I Don't Like:

• No out-of-the-box support for Keyword Searches or bookmark shortcuts. Did solve this with a nice SIMBL plug-in called Keywurl
• No add-on support for integrating bookmark services like del.icio.us. Did work around this by using a nice dashboard widget called DashLicious. Found an even better workaround here -- Upon further research, Spotlight does a really good job of crawling my Webkit bookmarks, so I could theoretically use delicious2safari to sync and then simply use spotlight to search.
• Keyboard shortcut for switching tabs is wonky. Cmd-Shift-Arrow is a two-handed action. Firefox's shortcut of Ctrl-Tab and Ctrl-Shift-Tab is a neat one-handed action for easy switching. Also, if I have a blank tab open, my tab switching will get "stuck" in the blank tab because the focus goes in to the URL bar.
• No "find ahead" typing. In FF, you can press "/" followed by a search string of any link on the page. Then you can press enter to execute that link... Or Cmd-Enter to open that link in a tab. Fully mouse-free browsing is nice that way.
• Can create a folder in the bookmark toolbar by right-clicking on the toolbar, but you can't drag a bookmark that is on the toolbar in to a folder on the bookmark toolbar. All it tries to do is re-order them.
• No side-bar for displaying peripheral information. I like opening certain sites (to do lists, etc) in to my side bar for constant viewing. 
• No saving your session when your browser suddenly crashes (and yes, it does crash). [UPDATE: Actually not true. There is an option to re-open your last state nestled in the History menu]
• I don't like that Cmd-1 through CMD-9 have been mapped to items in my bookmarks toolbar. I'd much rather have these mapped to my open tabs (cmd-1 jumps to the first tab, cmd-9 jumps to the last, cmd-6 jumps to the 6th, etc... like in FF).
• Webkit is "new window" heavy. Things are always popping up in a new browser window as opposed to a new tab within the parent. I've tried to over-ride this with settings, but have not been having any luck (in Gmail, especially)! (Update: Right-clicking and choosing to open in a new tab seems to work)
• I don't like the way dropdowns behave in Webkit. I get it. I just don't like it.